Translated!

Yes, I'm writing from the Heavenly City, where I have a tail and hair 7 feet long! on my head of course
Humm well I just realized there's a lot of translations going on. I was working on translating a New Age book that one of our sheep wrote, along with my Spanish rose, who is no longer with us. See she spoke Spanish and English but she didn't know any figures of speech so she'd end up translating the whole thing literally, so she's get it into English that didn't make sense and I'd put it in a normal way of speaking. Between the two of us we got it down pretty well. The book was quite special. It doesn't make any sense in either language, and it's comprised of paragraphs with mostly commas and no sentence structure. Here's a quote taken from memory:

And so, we have come to the point. Although I am going to tell you, not now, but I will tell you, that sphere of understanding, the way that two persons can communicate from a far distance, this is the point, that comprehends more then the story itself, for now I must begin.
It was summer, at 7 in the evening, in a hotel called The Sands, but it is the name, that does not matter, only what matters is what happened there, because I am alone, single, and nearing the age of thirty, and the point is the basis of understanding, here is where it will bring the matter closed.

AND so on and so forth. QUITE intense. I love you, Mercy! miss you intensely, we had some swell times translating that. It's called El Punto, or in English The Point. Bet you couldn't have figured that out on your own huh.
Oh yes someone found a map the other day, a tour guide for the rizty extravagant section of Monterrey. Every, single, word was directly translated, misspelled or just did not make sense and oh, it brought SUCH joy to my heart. Like so:

Fashion store: All kind of Fendi clothing for men and women.
Restaurant: The best Thai cuisine in San Pedro. Honesty kitchen. (In Spanish it said something like every dish is cooked with total sincerity)
Clothing store (My personal favorite): The elegance that characterizes the brand is shown in the pieces of stone.

ahahahaha what joy. QUE GOZO que gozo there were more but i don't remember them. Will post if i get ahold of that map.
Here's some pictures that have absolutely nothing to do with this post
See, I look like a total ho but i was actually being foolish I promise!!! this is all of us pole dancing woohoo

well if I ever go on a date website that's my photo right there! Me being the resident Romanian hag on Thanksgiving. Yes, I actually dress like that on a regular basis, try it sometime, it's very liberating.

HAHAHA God I love the Internet! It's so weiird. Look that paragraph's all blue and underlined cuz i just linked it to the MO site. tee hee.
WELL go waste your time with Frolic. Frolic has a new blog, I'm announcing it officially. it's called imasokasyourface.blogspot.com and just for the record, lookwehaveawebsite.blogspot.com was way cooler, by far.
I leave you with this thought for solace:

I taste egg

Dear Lord, do you realize I have a paltry 7 posts on this blog? That's embarrassing.
On second thought I have nothing to be ashamed of, this only means that I have better things to do with my time then sit around and be a nerd all day...............aaaaah I do love my mind.
Not to take any glory to myself, it's all the Lord and any blame for not making any logical sense goes to me. Christmas is over and I'm very happy about that. I got a bag, spastic socks, and chocolate. Ooh and I made truffles! They were yummy as heck and now there's a week of freedays before I head off for California, to listen to my parents and sister berate me for my lack of the family's intelligence genes. Don't know what they're thinking..........they probably don't even know what the Vatican is anyway. But I'll watch Rome and Battlestar Galactica with Nick, and probably end up attempting communications with pigeons if I see Chuck, so that'll be swell.
Hukum.

That was the COOLEST TYPO EVER!!!! Man the things you can discover with keyboards blow my mind, every time.

Here's a recent picAHA! didn't say it was going to be of me now did I? YOU"VE BEEN HOODWINKED, BABY!!!

Humm don't exactly know why that's blue.

Work of Art of the Week

This picture turns me on. I intend to steal this person's lips when I achieve my Heavenly reward. HAPPY HUNTING!!!!!

NEW YEARS EVE!!!

Hahahahhaha! This was one funky night. Wish you we're here? Huh? Thought so. But you can't! Ha. Ok we today have jumped and ate and drank and watched about everything on the face of SA. Hahahahh I think my favorete music videos are Trapped in the Bathroom, 1 through 5. More are coming out so make sure to watch those Canadian toilet freaks!

How to Wage All-Natual Biological Warfare

Hello everyone! How would you like to learn how to drive away friends and foes alike by using an edible smoke bomb to fumagate your entire house? Good, then you're probably ready for my all new creation, dubbed;

The M.O.T.H.E.R.
which stands for Mary had One litTle lamb HER fleece was white as snow

You will need:

A whole vegatable (I prefer onion, but you can use pretty much anything)
Three teeth of garlic
Lots of cayenne pepper
Oil
A ski helmet and mask
Ski goggles (optional)

Directions:

1. Put pan on stove and pour in oil. Turn on fire and heat till very very hot.
2. Slice your onion in large slivers.
3. When pan is smoking, dump in onion. Be sure there's plenty of oil, otherwise they won't smoke to their full capacity.
4. Heap in a genourous amount of cayenne pepper--the more the merrier!
5. Don your ski gear.
6. Dice garlic in very small pieces.
7. Dump garlic in pan.
8. More cayenne.
9. Another interesting twist to this recipe is to pour random spices into the pan. I reccomend lemon pepper and nutmeg.

By now there will likely be a large cloud of toxic smoke in your kitchen. All you have to do is open the door to the rest of your house and fan away! The result will be a posionous mist brewing through the house, causing all human life forms to suffocate in its ghastly mass. Symptoms include;
Watery eyes
Coughing
Dry, itchy throat
Short, labored breathing
Critical comments on your cooking (these usually will be accompanied with admonitions not to set the house on fire)

With your ski gear securely fixed on your head, walk through your house unaffected and watch in glee as all your family, friends and roomates seek shelter and oxygen. Interestingly enough, this recipe is completely edible and can act as a repellent for the in-laws and/or your boss. Simply chew small amount twice a day, after waking up and before going to bed. DO NOT BRUSH TEETH to ensure its success. An added bonus to this recipe is that it rids your home of most pests, including cockroaches and rats.
Happy Fumagating!

ONE DAY

Dear diary,

I hope no one ever reads this. I'm sworn to secrecy. I like you diary, your my only friend. Even though your not a girl or guy I can still convert you to my religion -- M.H. ahhahaha don't you live the way I make things sound so inteligent but if I translated you would laugh in discust at my stupidity and imaturity.

I'M A FAKE CANADIAN...SO BLAME CANADA!!!

Ok you D.R.S.E's! Listen up, I have somthing to tell your hairy ears.
Today was great. First of all, I don't know how to cook. Second of all I can't cook. And Third...ok nvm I have nothing to say good bye. I think that I write so vary good that's why this blog is named after my grandparents who came from S.P. You wonder why I'm so anti you?!? Ya I do happen to be talking to you and I don't want to hear that Mother Plucker writes better than me cause she can't babble off about nothing whitch btw is my talent. So please repect the poor--considering I am and will be poor for the rest of my life. look ok. I think your great and all, but your pretty boring and I don't like writing love letters to you cause it makes me think of you and when that happens I feel like Cinderella falling in love with Chad which is. Me. Ok. Hi. Go. Away!!! Thanks for making me feel loved and like I'm important but we just can't be together. This is for Arizona Ice tea. GET OFF MY BLOG PLEASE THIS IS JUST FOR MY FRIENDS AND YOU DEFINATELY ARNT ONE OF THEM. TOMORROW IS NEW YEARS EVE AND I'M FINALLY GONNA SEE A BROWN PEICE OF GRUMP AND PLUP. A REALLY FAT MAN NAMED SMEAGOL. OK PLEASE I REALLY LIKE THE BIBLE AND I KNOW JESUS LOVES YOU EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT SUCHA SAMPLE AND BIBLE QUOTER BUT IF I CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS WITH FAITH THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED I CAN DEFIN. EAT FOOD WITH MY HANDS. ANYHTING IS POSIBLE GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SWEET ICE TEA. "TOM I'M GONNA NEED A RIDE HOME TONIGHT."